Bring Me Back To Life
by SlytherinGirl1
Summary: Ron believes that Harry died in his final battle against Voldemort, but it was all an elaborate plan made up by the Minister of Magic? Will they ever be able to find their way back to each other and overcome who they are now?
1. Default Chapter

Bring Me Back To Life  
  
how can you see into my eyes like open doors  
  
leading you down into my core  
  
where i've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
  
until you find it there and lead it back home wake me up inside  
  
wake me up inside  
  
call my name and save me from the dark  
  
bid my blood to run  
  
before i come undone  
  
save me from the nothing i've become  
  
now that i know what i'm without  
  
you can't just leave me  
  
breathe into me and make me real  
  
bring me to life  
  
wake me up inside (I can't wake up)  
  
wake me up inside (I can't wake up)  
  
call my name and save me from the dark  
  
bid my blood to run  
  
before i come undone  
  
save me from the nothing i've become  
  
bring me to life  
  
frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead  
  
all this time i can't believe i couldn't see  
  
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me  
  
i've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
  
got to open my eyes to everything  
  
without a thought without a voice without a soul  
  
don't let me die here  
  
there must be something more  
  
bring me to life  
  
~Evanescence  
  
Ron Weasley groaned as the sound of his alarm clock cut his dream short. He was dreaming of he and Harry, but that was nothing out of the ordinary, Harry was a permanent fixture in all of Ron's dreams. Dreams were the only place that Ron and Harry could ever be together and live out the happy life that they had planned only 5 short years before.  
  
Ron's heart shattered and broke all over again, like it did everyday when reality robbed him of his dreams. Today was July 31st, Harry's birthday, but there would be no party. Harry should have turned 23 today but he would forever be 18. Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, had died in his final battle against Voldemort. He had paid the ultimate price in freeing the wizarding world of the darkest wizard in their history. Voldemort had also perished, but it brought Ron no comfort because he would never hold Harry in his arms again. He had tried to move on with his life, but to no avail. After Harry's death he had done the next best thing, he had escaped. One month after Harry's funeral he packed up his belongings and moved to America. San Francisco, California to be exact. He now lived in a small flat in the infamous Castro district. It was the gay hot spot and Ron thought that he could find someone to love there, but that was 5 years ago and that illusion no longer existed for him. His days and nights were filled with meaningless sex with men who shared certain qualities with Harry, green eyes, or unruly black hair, but none of them filled the empty space in Ron's life.  
  
Silent tears coursed down Ron's face as he looked back on what his life had become. He hadn't spoken to his family or friends in 5 years, he had only left him a note stating that he couldn't pretend to go on with his life anymore, and that while he was not going to kill himself physically, that he was leaving England and that Ron Weasley would no longer exist after he arrived in his new home. He could imagine the hurt that the note had caused but he had not cared at the time, and now that he did he was ashamed to go home to his family and friends and face up to what he'd done. Facing his family and friends was not the only thing Ron would have to face, he would also be forced to face all of the demons that haunted him about Harry's death, and that was something Ron felt he would never be ready to face, not in this lifetime or any other. So instead Ron Weasley had become Scott Collins, a bartender at one of the many bars that filled his neighborhood, and it was there that he met all of the meaningless fucks that now filled his bed at night. The only reason he had woken up alone this morning was because he had chosen not to bring anyone home last night, he had not wanted to wake up on Harry's birthday with a quick fuck in his bed, it felt wrong somehow. He had taken the day off from work today and had decided instead to stay at home where he could mourn in solitude, where for just one day he could be Ron Weasley again, even if there was no one there to witness it but himself. Scott Collins did not exist today, today he would be the person he had been all his life, today he would pay Harry this small tribute and not be the man he was sure that Harry would be deeply disappointed in.  
  
~~The Burrow~~  
  
His birthday was almost over. This year had been just as bad as the last one if not worse. Harry sighed as he sat staring pointlessly out the window of the Burrow. His body and heart ached. It had been 5 long years without the man he loved. According to everyone's accounts, Ron had fled only a month after his "funeral", too distraught to attempt life without him. Harry cursed himself everyday for going along with Fudge's grand plan. Initially the wizarding world had been led to believe that Harry had died in his final battle against Voldemort, and while he nearly had he managed to escape, Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic, had convinced Harry to let the wizarding world believe it so that they could safely capture what remained of Voldemorts followers without putting Harry or those he loved in any further danger. Harry had reluctantly agreed, only because so many that he cared about had died already and he could not bear to lose anyone else. The Weasley family had suffered great loses in the war, Bill, Charlie, and Percy had all died as had many of Harry's classmates and friends, Cedric Diggory, Cho Chang, Lee Jordan, Colin Creevey, Seamus Finnegan, Hagrid, Albus Dumbledore, the list went on and on. Fudge's plan had worked, and the wizarding community was now a place of relative peace where wizards and witches could enjoy life without the dark cloud of Lord Voldemort and his followers hanging over their heads. The days of wondering if your loved one would ever make it home alive was gone, gone for the all the wizarding world except for Harry and the Weasleys. Ron had disappeared without a trace a month before Harry had returned from the dead; no one knew where he was, he had left a short note, and disappeared one morning without a clue as to where he had gone. Harry and the Weasleys had spent countless hours, months, days and years looking for him, but it was clear that where ever Ron went he had no intention of ever being found again. A tear coursed down Harry's cheek at the thought of Ron out there in the world believing him dead when the exact opposite was true.  
  
He lived with the Weasleys now, he occupied Ron's old room, it was bittersweet, but even after all these years Harry swore he could still smell Ron's scent on the sheets. The Burrow was the site of so many memories, good and bad, but all of them involved his lover. Hermione had suggested that Harry move out of the Burrow for his sanity's sake, but Harry had refused, staying close to the Weasleys made him feel closer to Ron, and sanity be damned, Harry needed to feel that closeness.  
  
"Penny for your thoughts"  
  
Harry turned and smiled half-heartedly at Hermione Granger, his best friend, one third of the infamous Hogwarts Trio. Hermione stepped closer to him and reached out for his hand, the two friends stood in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. Hermione had suffered just as much loss as Harry had in the war. Voldemort had murdered her parents in order to strike at Harry, and it had nearly worked. After her parents were killed Harry had tried to put as much distance as he could between himself and those he cared about, he did not want them in harm's way, but Hermione would have none of it. As always she had been stubborn and insisted that Harry was in no way responsible for the death of her parents. Harry had eventually come around and he was glad that he did because he had needed all the love and support of his friends in his final battle with Voldemort.  
  
"I miss him so much Mione"  
  
"I know Harry, I miss him too"  
  
"It's all my fault, I never should have gone along with Fudge's plan"  
  
"Harry, you can't continue to blame yourself, you did what you thought was right to protect the people you loved"  
  
Harry snickered. "Yeah, good and noble Harry Potter, always putting others before him, and look at him now, completely buggered, living a half life without the man he loves"  
  
"We'll find him Harry"  
  
"I don't think so Mione, I used to think that we would, but not anymore. I've lost all hope. We've looked everywhere for him, we've searched the whole bloody world, and there isn't one trace of him."  
  
"Harry, I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm going to say it anyway. You need to move on with your life. Ron has been gone for five years, and while I hope we find him, we've got to live. All our sacrifices will have been worth nothing if we don't live the life we fought so hard to keep"  
  
"There is no life for me without him"  
  
"I'm leaving the Burrow, Harry"  
  
Harry turned towards his friend, a look of shock on his face. "WHAT!?!"  
  
"I can't live here anymore. I will forever be grateful to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley for taking me in after my parents were murdered, but this place is just too sad. Everyone's life here has stopped, been put on hold. The sadness here is drowning me and I refuse to let it drown me anymore than it has. We've all lost so much but I intend to go on living, I will not join the ranks of the walking dead, and I will not dishonor the truly dead by ceasing to live the life they died for me to have"  
  
"When are you leaving?" Harry asked, his voice flat and devoid of any emotion  
  
"Tomorrow"  
  
"Not wasting any time then are you?"  
  
"I've wasted entirely too much time Harry.Percy never would have wanted this for me, he would have wanted me to go on living"  
  
"We'll never know what Percy wanted, he's dead" Harry stated, bitterness lacing his words. Hermione drew back, she understood that Harry was hurting but she refused to be his whipping post.  
  
"You will not speak to me that way! You have no idea what Percy was truly like! Only a few of us did, and I KNOW HE WOULDN'T WANT THIS FOR ME!"  
  
Harry shrank back from his friend. He knew he had crossed a line. He stepped back towards Hermione and wrapped his arms around her. After a minute she returned the embrace.  
  
"I'm sorry Mione, I shouldn't have said that, I just don't want you to leave me. I'll be terribly sad without you"  
  
"Come with me Harry. The flat I'm renting has two bedrooms we could share an apartment and start to rebuild our lives slowly. Please Harry, please think about it. It kills me to see you like this, and while I will do this with or without you it would be so much easier to do this together"  
  
"Mione-"  
  
"Please just tell me you'll at least think about it"  
  
Harry sighed. "Alright, I'll think about it, but I can't promise anything"  
  
"Good, I leave tomorrow evening so you'll need to be packed and ready to go by about 7" She gave Harry a kiss on the cheek and made her way up the stairs to Percy's old bedroom.  
  
Harry wished now more than ever that he could stop thinking. His mind was on overdrive. The small logical part of him that still existed knew that Hermione had a point, that he should try and move on with his life, but he felt like that would be a betrayal to Ron.and to the Weasleys, his surrogate family. Could he go one without Ron? Was there really a life for him without Ron? Was it even worth it to try and find out? Harry needed something to make him feel alive again, was this the solution? He didn't know, and he only had until 7 pm the following day to figure it out.  
  
"Mum, Dad, I've never needed parental guidance as much as I need it now, please help me! Give me a sign! Where does my happiness lie? Point me in the right direction."  
  
Harry sighed, turned out the lights and slowly made his way to his room before succumbing to a fitful sleep filled with images of Ron.  
  
The bar was dead when Ron arrived, but it was still early, 9pm, and things probably wouldn't pick up for another few hours. Ron had chosen his attire carefully, black leather pants, black boots, and an emerald green shirt that hugged his body in all the right places. He needed a warm body in his bed tonight, needed to feel that empty momentary closeness with someone.  
  
"Looking good Scott"  
  
"Thanks Blake"  
  
Blake Evans was the manager of the bar in which Ron worked. Ron had of coursed slept with him not long after he arrived in San Francisco. That's how he had gotten the job.  
  
"Out on the prowl again?"  
  
"Always" Ron grinned at Blake. He knew that Blake would like a repeat performance of their night together, but Ron had no intention of repeating any night with any of his conquests. They merely suited a purpose for a brief moment in time and that was it, that's all it could ever be, no one would ever possess him, he was already taken.  
  
Blake walked away from his bartender, his sexy, beautiful bartender. They had shared one passionate night, but that had been it. He had wanted more, but Scott had pushed him away. Something haunted him, Blake was sure of that, you only needed to look into his eyes, they were dead, and held no emotion. Even when they had shared their night together his eyes had been dull and lifeless, only in the throes of his orgasm had Scott shown any emotion, and even then it was not Blake's name that he had cried. He wasn't sure what the name was Larry, Cary, something along those lines. Whatever lover had spurned him still hung over Scott's head, and so every night Blake watched him take home meaningless fucks. It saddened Blake. Scott was quite a catch but it was obvious that no one would ever catch him. He never took the holidays off unless Blake closed the bar, he never even took a weeks vacation. No, Scott's only request in the time that he had worked for him had been that he be given July 31st off, July 31st a random and odd day, but Blake supposed that while it was a random day for others, it was extremely significant to Scott.  
  
Scott Collins was an utter mystery to him, he never spoke of his family, he didn't seem to have any friends, and if you questioned him about his past he was quick to shut you down. It was a pity that he seemed utterly alone in the world, and Blake wished that he could help Scott come to terms with some of the demons that haunted him, but he hadn't succeeded in the five years he had known him, he doubted he would ever succeed even if he knew Scott for a hundred years. Blake often wondered if Scott Collins really was Scott Collins, Scott Collins didn't seem to have a past, he had mysteriously appeared 5 years ago, out of thin air, it was odd, eerie, like some magical force had transported this stranger into his life. He sighed, he needed to stop thinking about Scott, he only ended up with a headache when trying to figure out all the complexities of his bartender.  
  
"Hey Scott"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I have something I would like discuss with you, do you think you could stick around after we close?"  
  
"Sure, as long as it's not too long, I'm hoping I'll have other business to attend tonight as well"  
  
Blake laughed. "I promise I won't keep you long"  
  
"Alright then I suppose if they want me bad enough they'll have to wait till you're done with me" Ron grinned at him suggestively.  
  
With that Blake walked away and began socializing with the men that had arrived for a night of drinking and dancing. Ron let the pulse of the music overtake him and he began scoping out the bar for any potential fucks, but as he looked around none of them caught his attention, no one with any of the qualities that he looked for. He hoped someone would show up that met his requirements he needed a warm body in his bed tonight, he needed to feel alive, even if only for that short moment when he came, pretending that it was Harry he was making love to. 


	2. Bring Me Back To Life, Chapter 2

~San Francisco~  
  
The night had been a bust. There wasn't a single person that had caught Ron's eye that night. He was severely disappointed; he was desperate to fuck that night. He needed to feel his orgasm overtake him and more than anything he needed to see Harry's face in the heat of the moment. He walked to the back of the bar, hoping that whatever Blake needed to talk to him about would be quick, there was still another hour or so left to find someone to fill his bed tonight at the twenty-four hour diner just around the corner.  
  
"Hello Scott, come in"  
  
"What is it you needed to talk to me about?"  
  
"I wanted to know if you would like to run the club for a week?"  
  
"Sure. Why?"  
  
"I'm looking at opening a club overseas and I will be there for a week scouting locations for it"  
  
"Wow, I knew business was good, but not good enough to open a club overseas"  
  
"It's a joint venture actually with a couple of the other club owners here, we all run successful nightclubs here and the market is hot right now in London, so we're going to try and make a go of it."  
  
Ron flinched. "London?"  
  
"Yes, are you alright Scott you look pale?"  
  
"No, I'm fine, I'll run the club for a week, just let me know what I need to do"  
  
"Great, can you come in tomorrow morning so we can discuss what needs to be done?"  
  
"Fine, I'll be here at 10. I-I have to go. Goodnight Blake."  
  
"Goodnight Scott"  
  
Ron felt sick to his stomach. Blake mentioning London made his old life come rushing back on him. The Burrow, Hogwarts, Hermione, his family, Harry, all the people and things he would never see again. He ran to his flat, tears rolling down his face. Merlin, how he longed for his old life, but he could never go back, he was too ashamed of what he had become. He could have been an Auror, or an agent for the Sport and Game department of the Ministry of Magic, instead he had become a common whore, only he was lower, he didn't even get paid for it.  
  
~London~  
  
"I think you made the right decision Harry"  
  
Harry smiled at his best friend. "Thanks Mione, I think I did too, but leaving the Burrow is like losing the last part of Ron that I had to hold on to"  
  
"I know, but you needed to let the last part go Harry. We've been through this, Ron doesn't want to be found. I just hope that one day he realizes what he did was stupid and comes back to us"  
  
"It wasn't stupid Mione, I think I would have done the same thing. I've barely lived in the five years I have been without him, I don't know what I would have done if I thought he was dead. I have to believe that he is alive so that I don't disappear myself"  
  
"Harry we came here to try and start over and while I know that that means discussing the past in order to move on, right now I just want to order a pizza, listen to music, unpack, and maybe have a few laughs with my best friend. Okay?"  
  
Harry grinned. "Okay"  
  
"Good I'll order the pizza and while we're waiting we'll unpack and organize our rooms, then we can concentrate on the living room, kitchen and dining area"  
  
"Yes ma'am"  
  
As Harry walked down the hall to his room a strange feeling overcame him. He was happy. He hadn't been happy in a long time, but it wasn't a complete happiness, not like the happiness he had felt when Ron had been by his side. Still he supposed it was a start, a little happiness, even for just a moment was better than the sadness he had been living with at the Burrow. He loved the Weasleys very much, and while he knew it hurt them to see him go, he knew they understood why he had to do it.  
  
When he got to his room he opened his suitcase and began to unpack his clothes. He was surprised when he came across an old Chudley Cannons shirt that had been thrown in with his clothes. He had purposely not brought anything of Ron's with him, but apparently someone had wanted him to have that. As he unfolded the shirt he noticed a small note tucked in it.  
  
Harry-  
  
I know you didn't take anything of Ron's with you, I saw you packing, I understand why you did it, but I thought the shirt should go with you. Ron said he loved you in that shirt, and that he loved the mornings he woke up next to you wearing his "bloody ugly and tattered" shirt. Please don't be a stranger Harry, you're a part of the family and please don't be angry with me for sneaking this in with your things.  
  
Ginny  
  
A lonely tear rolled down Harry's cheek. He could never be mad at Ginny for what she had done. He loved her as much as he loved Hermione. The shirt still smelled like Ron, a mix of the air on the Qudditch Pitch and chocolate. He folded up the shirt and the note from Ginny and deposited it at the bottom of his drawer. He was glad for the shirt but he needed to put it somewhere where he wouldn't have to look at it everyday or else he would never be able to start over. He thought about Ron nearly every minute of the day as it was, and if he was ever going to break that habit he needed the reminders out of sight. He carefully laid down a picture Hermione had taken of he and Ron next to the shirt, and finished unpacking his clothes; burying the reminders under the belongings he would need to start his new life.  
  
~San Francisco~  
  
Running the club was much harder than Ron had ever imagined. He left long after closing and was back early in the morning to ensure that everything needed for the nightly crowd such as liquor and food were all stocked. Ron now dealt with the complaints from the patrons and workers alike, counted the money, made the deposits, and the other millions of tiny details that came with the responsibility of running the place he worked at. He also kept up his bartending duties, and while it was hard work, he enjoyed it. It was fascinating to run a business and with less free time on his hands he wasn't consumed by his thoughts of Harry. Still he wondered if Blake had perhaps passed Hermione, Ginny or anyone he knew on the street. He wondered if Blake had walked down the street that The Leaky Cauldron resided on, or if a purple Knight Bus had whizzed by him on its way to any non-underwater destination.  
  
He envied Blake for getting to be in London, what he wouldn't give to go home and see everyone again, but his shame was too great. What would he tell his family and friends? How would he explain his five-year absence? And more importantly how would they react when he told them what he had been doing to pass the time in those five years? There were times, like this one, when Ron thought that risking it and going back to England were worth it. Still most of the time the shame of everything overtook him and he pushed the thought to the back of his head. He had resigned himself long ago to the fact that he would never go home again, and while he was beginning to regret his decision he couldn't go back on it. His life, however miserable it was, was here in San Francisco now. This was his home, this was his life, he lived here and he would eventually die here.alone.  
  
"Scott?"  
  
"Hey Marcus, what's up?"  
  
"I was just wondering if you could get another bouncer to cover my shift tonight. My husband's birthday is today and I was hoping to do something special. I told Blake about it, but he must have forgotten when he made the schedule up."  
  
"Sure, no problem, I'll have Kyle come in and cover for you. Have fun tonight with your husband."  
  
"Thanks Scott, I really appreciate it. Scott?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Can I ask you something?"  
  
"Shoot"  
  
"Now don't be offended or anything, but don't you want someone to go home to? Someone more than the random men you go home with every night?"  
  
"I-I."  
  
"Shit, sorry Scott, forget I asked. I don't want to criticize the way you live-"  
  
"It's okay Marcus. I did have someone once. He was my whole life. I met him at school when I was eleven years old. He was my best friend, and later we fell in love. We were blissfully happy together, whenever he kissed me the world and all of its worries faded away, and it was just Harry and I."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"He was murdered five years ago. My whole world was shattered so I moved here hoping to make a new start and in some ways I did, but Harry is the only man I will ever love. Anyone else would be second best, and I can't bear to settle for that, not after I tasted perfection with him"  
  
"Wow, I'm really sorry Scott.He must have been a really great guy if you loved him that much"  
  
"He was. Listen, have fun with your husband tonight. Enjoy and relish every moment you have with him"  
  
"Thanks, I'll see you tomorrow"  
  
"Bye Marcus"  
  
Ron felt as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He had never told anyone about Harry, but he finally had, and it felt good. It was an odd feeling, it was almost as if life were giving Ron a second chance. First he was given the responsibility of running the bar, a responsibility which left him less time to mope, he hadn't taken anyone home in the few days he had been running the bar, and now after five years someone knew about a small part of Ron Weasley's life. Ron felt slightly happy, and that was an emotion he hadn't felt in five long years.  
  
~London~  
  
Harry and Hermione's new lives were beginning to fall into place. Their apartment was in order, and they had both been given jobs at the Ministry of Magic. Beginning Monday they would fully begin the new lives they had left the Burrow to find. It made them both happy, and they had decided to celebrate by going to dinner and then dancing at a club in the city.  
  
"Wow, this place is great Mione! How did you find it?"  
  
"I read about it on the internet, it's supposed to be one of the premiere London hot spots, although something seems a little off Harry"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"None of the guys in this place have noticed me or the cute dress I bought"  
  
Harry laughed and then spotted something on the wall that made him laugh even harder.  
  
"Harry Potter, just what in the hell is so funny about that?"  
  
"Mione, do you see that flag on the back wall?"  
  
"Yes, why?"  
  
"It's the Rainbow flag Hermione, it is a sign of gay pride that muggles use. This is a gay club, if anyone will be checking you out tonight it's going to be the girls"  
  
"Oh, and here I thought the rainbow design on the website was just a pretty web page decoration"  
  
"Hermione Granger, you are the smartest person I have ever met and you didn't know this?!?! I'm shocked!"  
  
"Oh shut up! We're here now; we might as well dance and throw back a few drinks like we planned. Speaking of drinks, why don't you go to the bar and get us some while I find a table close to the dance floor"  
  
"Alrighty, I'll be right back"  
  
As Harry made his way up to the bar he couldn't help but notice how attractive many of the men in the club were. He felt a little guilty, but surely a little looking wouldn't hurt anyone.  
  
"I'd like a Cosmopolitan and a Lemon Drop please"  
  
"Coming up"  
  
As the bartender made his drinks Harry noticed a very attractive blonde sitting on the barstool next to him. He looked tall and muscular with spiky blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He was quite beautiful, and Harry wondered what it would be like to kiss him. Suddenly the blonde looked up. Harry turned away, embarrassed at being caught staring.  
  
"Hello there"  
  
Harry turned around slowly, he could feel his face burning. "Hi"  
  
"Are you enjoying yourself tonight?"  
  
"I, uh, I-My friend and I just arrived"  
  
Harry wanted to run screaming from the bar. He had just embarrassed himself even further.  
  
"You and your boyfriend?"  
  
"No, she's a girl"  
  
"You and your girlfriend then?"  
  
"Uh, no, I mean yes, she's a girl, but she's not my girlfriend. She's my best friend her name is Hermione"  
  
The blonde grinned and Harry felt the blood rush to other parts of his body.  
  
"So do you have a name or should I just call you Hermione's best friend"  
  
"No"  
  
"No you don't have a name?"  
  
"No, don't call me Hermione's best friend. My name is Harry, Harry Potter"  
  
"Nice to meet you Harry Potter, I'm Blake Evans"  
  
Harry smiled and shook the other man's hand. "Nice to meet you as well Blake"  
  
"Listen Harry do you mind if I join you and your friend for a drink or two?"  
  
"No of course not"  
  
"Great, shall we get our drinks and go and find her then?"  
  
As Blake and Harry made their way to the table Hermione had found Harry noticed that a small, knowing smile had appeared on his best friend's face.  
  
"Mione, this is Blake Evans, he asked if he could join us for a drink"  
  
"Nice to meet you Blake, I'm Hermione Granger, Harry's best friend"  
  
"Pleasure to meet you Hermione. You're best friend is quite the conversationalist it only took me fifty questions for him to tell me his name"  
  
Hermione laughed. "That's Harry for you, you have an American accent Blake, where are you from?"  
  
"I'm from San Francisco, I run a club there, but some business partners and I are looking to open a club here in London so I have been scouting locations all week"  
  
"Wow, how did you manage to get away for a whole week?"  
  
"I left the bar in the hands of my bartender. He's an odd fellow, but he's a hard worker and I know I can trust him"  
  
"Why is he odd?" Harry asked.  
  
"Well, he's just a mystery. He seems to have appeared out of nowhere, he never takes a vacation. He doesn't seem to have any family or friends, he'll work any and every holiday, and he request one day off a year"  
  
"That does seem a bit odd, poor fellow" Hermione noticed that she was monopolizing the conversation and decided to make an exit so that Harry could hone his man-meeting skills.  
  
"Harry, I'm afraid I'm not feeling well. I think I drank too much at dinner and I need some air and some sleep. I'm going to head home"  
  
"Alright why don't we get our coats and go then"  
  
"Oh, you don't have to leave Harry. I'll be fine, I know how to get home by myself. Will you walk with me to get my coat?"  
  
"Sure, excuse us Blake"  
  
"No problem, I'll be right here"  
  
Harry and Hermione made their way up to the coat check. Harry knew his best friend well enough to know that she was feeling fine.  
  
"Mione, what in the bloody hell are you doing?"  
  
"Harry, Blake is attractive, and obviously very interested in you. You need this Harry, have fun. Dance, flirt, drink, maybe even kiss a little. I'll be fine, I'll even wear my earplugs to bed in case you decide to entertain him later"  
  
"Hermione Granger! I've only just met him!"  
  
"I didn't mean entertain as in sex, you could invite him over for coffee or something. Bye Harry, see you at home"  
  
"Bye Mione"  
  
Blake was waiting patiently at the table while Harry returned. "Merlin, he's hot" Harry thought to himself.  
  
"Is Hermione going to be okay?"  
  
"She'll be fine"  
  
"Good, would you like to dance Harry Potter?"  
  
Harry grinned. "I'd love to"  
  
Perhaps Hermione was right. He needed this, he pushed aside all feelings of guilt as Blake led him to the dance floor and tried to enjoy himself.  
  
**A Few Hours Later**  
  
Harry was very glad that Hermione had worn earplugs to bed. He and Blake had gone from dancing and flirting to groping and kissing. He still didn't know how they had managed to make it to his room without waking Mione.  
  
Harry gasped as Blake's tongue entered his mouth. He kissed Blake back passionately. Slowly he lifted Blake's shirt over his head, running his hands over his perfect chest. Blake relieved Harry of his shirt as well, licking his earlobe, and running the tip of his tongue over his scar. Harry hissed in pleasure as he and Blake found their way to his bed. Harry moaned as their erections came into contact with each other. Blake kissed Harry again, their tongues dueling, Blake got on top of him and begin rubbing their erections together. The sensations were unbelievable, and soon both pairs of hands made their way to zippers, desperate to feel their erections pressed together without any further barriers.  
  
Harry gasped as Blake rubbed his erection through his jeans. It felt wonderful to have someone touch him again, he hadn't felt this alive since-  
  
Suddenly an image of an old Chudley Cannons shirt and picture flashed through Harry's mind. He gasped and pushed Blake off of him.  
  
"I-I can't" Harry panted  
  
Blake looked at him in shock. "Why Harry? I thought this was what you wanted"  
  
"I thought I did too, but I just can't, I'm sorry, it wouldn't be fair"  
  
"Harry, what just happened? One minute we're about to have sex and the next you're throwing me off of you, please explain, why can't you do this?"  
  
"Because of him"  
  
"Him?"  
  
Harry got up opened the drawer, and handed Blake the picture that resided at the bottom of his drawer.  
  
"Him. The red head in the picture"  
  
Blake gasped in shock when he saw whom Harry was referring to. "Scott."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Scott, my bartender"  
  
"I'm not following"  
  
"The man in the picture is Scott, my bartender"  
  
Harry felt as though he'd been hit with a stunning curse and slunk to the ground.  
  
"What did you just say?"  
  
"This is Scott Collins, he's my bartender"  
  
"You-you must be mistaken. The man in the picture is Ron Weasley. He's the man I'm in love with. Unfortunately he thinks I'm dead and I haven't seen him for five years."  
  
Realization dawned on Blake. He had always wondered if Scott Collins was really who he claimed to be, and now he knew that his hunch had been right. Scott Collins was a person invented to escape from who he truly was. The haunted look in Scott's eyes finally made sense as well. He thought the man he loved was dead, but he was wrong, he was sitting in front of Blake.  
  
"Harry, listen to me. Scott Collins and Ron Weasley are one in the same, I'm sure of it. He came to me five years ago, I told you and Hermione earlier, it was odd, he just seemed to appear out of nowhere, and he has no family and friends to speak of. I suspected that Scott Collins wasn't his real name, but he was a good guy so I let it go. You've got to believe me, he's alive and well, living in San Francisco."  
  
"You said that your bartender takes one day off a year, what day is it?"  
  
"July 31st"  
  
"Oh God"  
  
"Harry, what's July 31st?"  
  
"It's my birthday, it's also our anniversary. We became an official couple on my sixteenth birthday. I 'died' the day after my eighteenth. Oh Ron-"  
  
Harry buried his head in his hands and began sobbing like a mad man. After five years he had finally found Ron, he had asked his parents to point him in the right direction and they had.  
  
"Blake, please you have to take me back to San Francisco with you. I have to see him"  
  
"I leave on Friday, I'll call the airline in the morning and make arrangements to get you a seat on the flight. You'll need to get a passport as well"  
  
"Right, I'll get it first thing in the morning"  
  
"Harry, I need to warn you, there are things in Ron's life that you may not like. Things he has done in the past five years that you may disapprove of, they're not mine to tell, but if you two love each other as much as I think you do, then you'll get past it. Just remember to keep an open mind. Your 'death' destroyed him, he was lost, utterly lost"  
  
"You're scaring me Blake"  
  
"You're scared? Imagine how Sco-Ron will feel when he sees you. He thinks you're dead"  
  
Harry sighed. His life had been thrown into a tailspin in a few short minutes, just as it had five years ago when he returned and found that Ron had left.  
  
A gentle knock at Harry's door broke him from his thoughts.  
  
"Come in"  
  
"Harry-Oh, I-I'm terribly sorry.I thought I heard crying." Hermione stuttered as she noticed the condition that both Blake and Harry were in. They were obviously in the middle of something rather intimate.  
  
"No, it's alright Mione. There's something I need to tell you. Ron's alive. He's been living in San Francisco using the name Scott Collins. He's Blake's bartender."  
  
"Oh my God, Harry we have to go there!"  
  
"Blake is making arrangements for me to return with him on Friday"  
  
"I'm coming with you"  
  
"Mione, please don't take this the wrong way, but I want to do this by myself. I need to. Ron and I have a lot to work through when I get there, and I need it to be he and I. One on one. I promise that we'll ring you as soon as we meet up, but I have to go alone."  
  
"Alright, I'll honor your wishes, but if you don't ring as soon as you are in the same room with him, I will find you, and you know I have the means by which to do it"  
  
"I promise, I need you to do me another favor as well. Don't tell the Weasleys just yet. I don't know what kind of state Ron is going to be in and I don't want everyone in his face immediately. I will let them know as soon as everything is figured out"  
  
"Deal, is there anything else we need to do?"  
  
"Yeah, pack" 


	3. Bring Me Back To Life, Chapter 3

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed the story! I LOVE FEEDBACK! There's still more to come to the story..I don't know how much more, but definitely more..Thanks again and please keep reviewing! I live for it!  
~San Francisco~  
  
Running the bar for the week had been fun. Ron was a bit sad at the thought that Blake was returning and would be there the next night to run the bar again. He had felt so different this week, but tomorrow night he would go back to the way things had been before. He would again be just the bartender left to drown in his thoughts of Harry because he would have nothing to keep him from his thoughts as he had this week. God, he wished that Harry had never died, that he had never become the person he was and that instead he was still in England surrounded by the people he loved, living out the future that he and Harry should have had. It did no good to wish though, fate had dealt him a cruel hand and he was condemned to the existence that he now had. Sometimes he thought he would go mad, there were times that he begged for death, a time turner, anything so that he could see Harry once more. He needed to touch him, feel him, even if only for a split second. He ached for Harry, the pain was just as stifling now as it was when he had learned of Harry's death, but there was nothing he could do, he would live with the pain for whatever was left of his life.  
  
He finished locking up the bar and headed back to his flat, the twenty-four hour diner across the street was filled with people who were trying to sober up after a night of drinking. He thought about going in there and finding someone to take home with him, but decided against it. He would not become that person until tomorrow night again.  
  
As Ron entered his flat he noticed how cold it was. There was almost no furnishings, a couch and tv in the living area, and a bed in his room. There was barely any food in the cupboards, and there were no pictures or any kind of decoration in any of the rooms. When he had left England he had cleaned out the little money that was left in his vault a Gringotts and gone to San Francisco with only the clothes on his back. He had not brought any of his things from home, he had wanted to leave Ron Weasley far behind, and he supposed that he had managed that. He had even burned the clothing he was wearing when he arrived in the city. He wanted nothing to do with Ron Weasley, and he had destroyed anything that reminded him of who he used to be. His life as Ron Weasley seemed so far away now, he couldn't imagine what it would feel like to return to that life, and he wondered if he ever could. The only time he would feel whole again is when he was dead, dead and back with Harry. He glanced at the clock and realized that Blake had been back in town for a few hours, he had been back to being Scott Collins, the whore, for a few hours and not even realized it. In that moment Ron wanted to die, die and be who he used to be, die and return to the man he loved and the life he left behind.  
  
**Blake's apartment**  
  
"Here we are, it's not much, but it's home"  
  
"It's lovely Blake, where should I put my things?"  
  
"Down the hall to your left, it's my spare bedroom. It is at your disposal, the bathroom is right next door if you want to shower before going to bed"  
  
"Thanks, you don't know how much this means to me Blake" Blake smiled. "You're welcome Harry. I have errands to run tomorrow afternoon, Ron's shift starts at 9p.m. so I will come and get you before then. Is that okay?"  
  
"Fine"  
  
"Are you doing okay Harry?"  
  
"I'm a wreck actually, I have no idea what to say to him when I see him, I mean what in the bleeding hell do you tell someone who thinks you have been dead for five years?"  
  
"All you can do is speak from the heart Harry"  
  
"Would you forgive me if you were him?"  
  
"Well I honestly don't know. Why did you pretend to be dead?"  
  
"To protect him and everyone else that I cared for"  
  
"Then make him understand that"  
  
"You don't know Ron, that's much easier said than done"  
  
"He loves you, I know he does. Obviously you love him just as much, you're love for each other has survived this long.may I ask you something?"  
  
"Sure"  
  
"Why five years?"  
  
"Well, it's a bit complicated, but the abbreviated version is something like this: I pretended to be dead to protect the people I loved. I came out of hiding a month after Ron left, and for the past five years his family and I have searched for him tirelessly without any result. My life was stopped, frozen until I met you in that bar and brought you home"  
  
"Wow"  
  
"Blake?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Has Ron been serious about anyone?"  
  
Blake's blue eyes darkened and he hesitated before answering. "There's been no one serious Harry, I told you, Ron has been utterly lost without you. I can't tell you anymore than that, it's not mine to tell"  
  
"I can't believe that in a few short hours I am going to be seeing him for the first time in so long"  
  
"Look, Harry, I know you are nervous, but right now I think you need a shower and some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow night okay?"  
  
"Yeah, thanks again"  
  
Harry carried his suitcase back to the bedroom. His thoughts were going at light speed. He was terrified and overcome with immense joy and relief, would Ron feel the same? He had no idea, but he would know in a few short hours.  
  
**The Bar**  
  
"Hey Blake, welcome back"  
  
"Thanks Marcus"  
  
"How was London?"  
  
"Fabulous, could you do me a favor please?"  
  
"Sure"  
  
"When Scott arrives will you please send him back to see me, and have Kenneth take over at the bar. Oh, and please don't mention that I brought someone with me"  
  
"Whatever you say Blake"  
  
"Thank you"  
  
Blake led Harry back to a small office in the back of the bar. It was bright and well lit compared to the dim and smoky atmosphere of the bar.  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
"8:58, he's always right on time Harry, are you ready for this?"  
  
Harry gulped. "I think so"  
  
"Remember, speak from the heart"  
  
Harry took a seat in a corner chair and collected his thoughts before the moment arrived. He had faced down Voldemort and faced mortal peril many times in his life, but none of it compared to the fear he felt at this moment. Five years of waiting and wanting were about to end. A soft knock at the door interrupted his thoughts.  
  
"Come in"  
  
"Hey Blake, you wanted to see me?" Ron eyed the strange man sitting in the corner of Blake's office. His heart ached as he realized he had hair exactly like Harry's. He couldn't see his face though, it was blocked by the magazine he was intently reading.  
  
"Yes, did everything run smoothly in my absence?"  
  
"Perfect actually, how was London?"  
  
"Wonderful, I met some very interesting people"  
  
Ron felt his heart began to break "Well that's London for you I suppose" He refused to hear Blake talk about London, it would only make him sadder. "I guess I'll be going back inside now"  
  
"Would you like to know who I met in London Ron?"  
  
Ron froze. Blake had just used his real name. He'd been discovered! But, how? When? Why? "FUCK" was the only thought running through his head at the moment.  
  
"What did you just call me?" Ron attempted to remain calm.  
  
"I called you Ron, it is your name isn't it?"  
  
"Well.uh-well, oh sod it! Yes my name is Ron, Ron Weasley" Ron felt his mask fall away. His eyes stung with unshed tears. His small and fragile existence was ruined. Blake would surely fire him, and he would be out on the street with nowhere to go, no one to go to.  
  
"How did you find out Blake?"  
  
"Because I told him" slowly the stranger turned to face Ron. Ron stood rooted to the spot. The unruly black hair, the emerald green eyes, and there on his forehead, the damned scar.  
  
"H-Harry?"  
  
"It's me Ron"  
  
"You're dead" Ron stated, his voice cracking, what little sanity he had left was leaving him.  
  
"No Ron, I'm alive"  
  
"But-but how? Why did you lie to me? How did you find Blake?"  
  
Harry drunk in the sight in front of him, he wanted to run to him and run his hands through his fiery hair. The fiery hair that was always so soft, the creamy skin which was always smooth, and his lips. God, those lips that were always warm and inviting. Harry restrained himself though; it was obvious that there would be no passionate kisses or caressing.at least not yet.  
  
"Harry, Ron, I have business to attend to out there. Please feel free to use my office as long as you like. Ron you have the remainder of tonight off as well as the next week. Please let me know if you need more time, I would be more than happy to give it to you"  
  
Ron only nodded. He was too busy looking at Harry. Blake left the room and silence reigned. Neither of them knew what to do, what to say. Harry broke the silence first.  
  
"I suppose I have some explaining to do"  
  
Ron sunk down into the chair across from Harry.  
  
"Yes" was all he managed to squeak out.  
  
"Alright. I suppose I'll start at the beginning. I never lied to you Ron, please believe me. Fudge wanted the wizarding world to believe I was dead, for a while at least. He felt that it would bring the dark wizards who still remained at large to the forefront as everyone thought I was dead. He also believed it was the only way to protect the people that I loved from any further harm. I know that I shouldn't have agreed to it, but I couldn't risk the lives of the people I loved anymore. So many of them were already dead, and your family had already suffered so much, I didn't want to cause anymore suffering. Obviously, I failed. I came out of hiding a month after you left. I apparated straight to the Burrow. I couldn't wait to see you, hold you, kiss you, but when I got there your mother told me that you had disappeared a month before. I was shattered."  
  
Harry saw anger flicker in Ron's eyes. This was not good.  
  
"AND YOU THINK I WASN'T SHATTERED?!? BLOODY HELL HARRY I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"  
  
Tenatively Harry reached out and took Ron's hands in his. An electric shot went through both of them, and their eyes met. Ron's eyes were filled with hurt and anger while Harry's were filled with sadness, begging for forgiveness.  
  
"Please Ron, please let me finish"  
  
Ron withdrew his hands from Harry's grasp, and folded his arms across his chest. He reminded Harry so much of the stubborn teenager he had been while at Hogwarts and he had to bite back a grin.  
  
"Fine Harry, finish explaining"  
  
Harry breathed a sigh of relief. "I know that the damage that my 'death' inflicted on you cannot compare to how I felt when I found out you had left. At least I knew you were alive, you thought I was dead. Still, I moved into the Burrow, Hermione was living there as well, and for five years your family, Mione and I searched tirelessly for you. No matter how hard we searched though we never found you. Hermione and I decided to move out of the Burrow and try to build new lives for ourselves. We were only in our new flat a few days before I ran into Blake"  
  
Ron sighed. Harry had suffered as well, and he could see why he had done what he did, but it didn't make him less angry, and Harry still didn't know about the life he had led in the past five years. Also this still didn't explain how Harry had met Blake.  
  
"How did you meet Blake?"  
  
Harry took a deep breath, he knew that this question was coming. He had to tell Ron the truth.  
  
"We met at a bar. Hermione and I had just gotten jobs at the ministry and we decided to try and have some fun so we went out to celebrate. Mione didn't realize she had chosen a gay bar as our celebration spot and that's where I met Blake"  
  
"That still does not explain how I suddenly became the topic of conversation"  
  
"Weell, ummm..you see-Blake and I, we, well we."  
  
Ron grinned. Harry was still fucking adorable when he was flustered.  
  
"Did you sleep with him Harry?"  
  
"NO. No. I did take him back home with me, and were getting, you know, intimate, but I just couldn't go through with it. He asked me why, and I showed him your picture, and the rest is history"  
  
Ron's heart broke. Harry wasn't able to sleep with one person. It sounded as though he had remained completely faithful to Ron in the five years they had been apart. How would he ever understand the lifestyle that Ron had been leading?  
  
"Ron?"  
  
"Who knows you're here?" "Just Hermione. I asked that she not tell your family until I actually got here and talked to you. I didn't think you would want everyone in your face immediately"  
  
"Amazing."  
  
"What's amazing Ron?"  
  
"That after five years of being apart you still know exactly what I want"  
  
Harry grinned.  
  
"Ron? What has your life been like for the past five years?"  
  
"Hell"  
  
"Has there..been anyone else?"  
  
Ron could feel the bile rising in his throat. Harry had been nothing but honest with him, and he owed him that much. Slowly Ron got up and opened the door to Blake's office. He motioned for Harry to join him.  
  
"Do you see all of the men out there?"  
  
"Yes, why?"  
  
"There's not one out there that I haven't had sex with in the past five years. It's only 10, the night is still young, you can be sure that out of the men that come walking in the door for the rest of the night that I have slept with about 99 percent of them. Not counting the ones who won't dare step foot in here after I had sex with them and then never spoke to again"  
  
Harry's jaw dropped and tears began to form in his eyes. What had he driven the man he loved to?  
  
"Oh my God" Harry sank down into chair near the doorway.  
  
Ron closed the door and knelt in front of Harry.  
  
"I'm sorry Harry, I was so lost without you-"Ron's voice cracked and he began to cry. "I never--no one has ever been inside me-only you, God Harry I am so sorry, I thought you were dead. Please Harry say something."  
  
Harry looked down at Ron. Now he knew what Blake meant when he said that there had been no one "serious". He didn't know exactly what he felt. He didn't know if he was angry or sad, he knew for sure he was jealous. Still looking down at Ron he did exactly what his heart told him to. He slid off the chair and sank to his knees and gathered Ron in his arms. The two men stayed there on the floor of Blake's office crying and hugging. A million thoughts ran through their heads, but the one that prevailed. Could they get through this?  
  
Ron pulled back and looked at Harry. He had to ask. "What happens now Harry?"  
  
"I'm here for a week Ron, lets try and see if we can pick up the pieces and move on with our lives, see if it's possible to regain the future we had planned for"  
  
"You really think it will only take a week?"  
  
"I think after a week we will know if its possible or not. If it is possible, I'll stay here as long as I need to, but lets take this one step at a time okay?"  
  
"Yeah, okay. Harry?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"We forgot to call Hermione"  
  
They looked at each other and laughed. Real laughs, the first real laughs to be emitted by either man in a very long time. 


	4. Bring Me Back To Life, Chapter 4

**Ron's Flat**  
  
The walk back to Ron's flat was a quiet one. Neither man knew what to say. The tension between them was thick and stifling.  
  
Harry's heart ached when he remembered Ron's confession at the club. The thought of all those men touching his beautiful Ron made him seethe with anger and jealousy. He didn't want to be angry with Ron. He knew that Ron had done what he had done out of desperation, but his once pure lover was now tainted. He felt as though Ron no longer solely belonged to him. Despite the fact that Ron had never allowed any of the men he had been with to be inside of him, to take him. Still, their fingers had run through his hair, their hands had traced the angles of his face and the smooth planes of his chest. If Harry could have, he would have cursed every man in that club for daring to touch his beloved. For daring to caress what was rightfully his. Jealousy was never an emotion Harry had felt when it came to Ron. Their relationship was always the constant. Their love was strong, without any room for doubt. They belonged to each other, but now Harry wasn't so sure. Did Ron really belong to him anymore? He felt his heart constrict painfully. If Ron didn't belong to him anymore he would be lost, because he knew that he would always belong to Ron.  
  
Ron glanced at Harry and tried to read the emotions that were running across his beautiful face, but he couldn't. He wished he could take back the last five years, but there was no way to do that. What was done was done. He had fucked many men, but they had never fucked him. They had never kissed him. It was always quick, fast, Ron never craved the sex, he only craved the warm body so that he could pretend it was Harry. He craved the release so that in that one perfect moment he could lose himself and cry out Harry's name. He had never allowed any of the men to do much touching, and he had never touched much himself. He only flirted with them, took them home, threw them down on the bed and fucked them. It was pathetic, immoral and disgusting, but Ron didn't care. He knew from the moment that Harry and he finally became a couple that he would always belong to him. He hoped Harry knew that, knew that whatever had transpired in those five years that Ron would only ever belong to him.  
  
"We're here" Ron whispered softly  
  
"Not long of a walk from the bar is it?"  
  
"No, that's one of the reason's I liked it..Do you want to come upstairs?"  
  
"Sure"  
  
When they reached the door of Ron's flat he turned and looked at Harry. Harry noticed Ron's eyes cloud with shame, then Ron spoke, looking at the floor the entire time.  
  
"It's not much, and there's not much in it.Just what I needed to survive..A telly, a couch, and a bed"  
  
Harry panicked. He did not want to see Ron's bed, he did not want to see the bed in which he had lain with other men. He did not want to smell them on Ron's sheets or his couch or wherever else he had been with them.  
  
"Harry, are you coming in?" Ron's heart broke as he watched Harry. He knew what Harry was thinking. Harry didn't want to see the place that he had brought other men to.  
  
"Ron, I-"  
  
"It's okay I understand Harry.I wouldn't want to see either"  
  
Harry brought his hand up to Ron's face and gently caressed his cheek. He suddenly had a vision of an endless string of men doing the very same thing and he drew his hand back quickly.  
  
Tears began to form in Ron's eyes. "He's never going to get past what I've done" he thought to himself.  
  
"Go home Harry. Go back home to England and forget that you ever found me" Ron's voice broke and the tears that he had been fighting began to fall down his cheeks. He turned to go inside, but Harry grabbed his arm.  
  
"I'm not going home Ron. I'm not leaving until I know where we stand. I've looked for you for five bloody years and I will not walk away without even trying, but please try and understand how difficult this is"  
  
Ron's anger immediately kicked in. Harry saw it flash in his eyes, and he knew that the shouting match was about to begin.  
  
"YOU'RE HAVING A HARD TIME!?!?"  
  
"Ron, please, the neighbors will hear us! Let's just go inside and talk about this"  
  
"WHY? WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO INSIDE HARRY? SO YOU CAN BE EVEN MORE DISGUSTED WITH ME? SO YOU CAN PULL AWAY FROM ME? SO YOU CAN BE REPULSED EVEN MORE EVERY TIME YOU TRY TO TOUCH ME? THEY WERE JUST FUCKS HARRY! THEY MEANT NOTHING!" Ron's voice was shaking the walls, but he didn't care, his anger was in control of him now.  
  
Harry's calm slipped away and soon he was yelling back as well. His green eyes fierce with anger.  
  
"NOTHING?!?!? THEY MEANT NOTHING?!?!? HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?!?! YOU LET THEM TOUCH YOU! YOU LET THEM DO THINGS TO YOU! THINGS ONLY I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO!!"  
  
A light bulb clicked on inside Ron's head. Harry was angry yes, but he was also jealous.  
  
"Christ Harry, you don't get it do you?" Ron's voice softened.  
  
"Get what Ron?" Harry asked. His eyes were still blazing with anger and his voice was like ice.  
  
"Why I did it"  
  
Harry composed himself and lowered his voice.  
  
"I know that you did it out of desperation, because you felt lost.because you wanted to replace me-" Harry choked back a sob. He took a seat at the top of the stairs and began to sob. He was making a fool of himself but he didn't care, he couldn't hold the tears back any longer, he had been fighting them from the moment they stepped out of the club.  
  
Ron felt his heart explode inside his chest. Harry thought that Ron wanted to replace him. How could he even begin to think that? Cautiously Ron took a seat next to Harry and put an arm around his shoulders, pulling Harry close to him. Harry buried his head in the crook of Ron's neck inhaling his scent. He still smelled exactly the same, and that comforted Harry.  
  
"Stupid git" Ron whispered. He kissed the top of Harry's head. "Don't you get it? I have only ever been yours Harry. From the moment I met you on the Hogwarts express I have belonged solely to you.heart and soul"  
  
Harry looked up at Ron. "But what about all those men?"  
  
"I never wanted to replace you Harry, never. I brought those men home because only in that moment when I was lost in my orgasm could I cry out your name. It was in those few precious seconds that I could pretend the body beneath me was you. That it was you and I making love. It was only then that I could have you back in my life. I never touched them except to fuck them Harry. There was never any gentle caresses, never any kissing, never anything as intimate as what we have done. That was all reserved for you, only for you love"  
  
Harry looked up at Ron, and for the first time that night he felt hope. Hope that he and Ron could take back what fate had stolen from them five years ago.  
  
"I got you're shirt all wet, sorry"  
  
Ron glanced down at the wet patch on his shirt. "Sod it, never liked this shirt much anyways" he smiled at Harry. His heart filled with joy when Harry smiled back at him.  
  
"So, you have the whole week off, and I'm here for the whole week.want to take me sightseeing?"  
  
"I haven't seen much of the city actually, never felt the need to sightsee I guess"  
  
"Well then I guess we'll just have to do it together" Harry smiled.  
  
"Together, it sounds perfect to me"  
  
Harry stood up. "I better be going, but I'll be here tomorrow at eleven, you'll be here right?"  
  
"Where else would I be?"  
  
"See you at eleven then"  
  
"Right then, eleven"  
  
"Goodnight Ron"  
  
"Night Harry"  
  
Ron watched Harry start to descend down the stairs when suddenly he stopped midway. "Harry, what are you-"  
  
But Ron was not able to finish his question. Harry's lips claimed his for a brief moment. It was a quick peck, but for Ron it was pure heaven. Harry's lips were still as soft as he remembered.  
  
Both men stood grinning at each other, blushing furiously, and filling with happiness.  
  
"Sweet dreams Ron" And with that Harry was gone.  
  
For the first time in five years Ron walked into his shabby flat smiling and full of joy.  
  
**The Next Morning**  
  
"Morning Harry"  
  
"Good Morning Blake" Harry responded cheerfully.  
  
"I see that you and Ron are doing well"  
  
"Well, I'm not sure yet, but I've been thinking, and you're right. If our love survived this long then surely we can work through this"  
  
Blake smiled. "So you know all about what has been going on these past few years then?"  
  
Harry's smile faded slightly and he sighed. "Yes Ron told me everything last night. I think I understand why he did it, and he swore to me that it was never intimate, that there was never any kissing, never any caressing, and that he had never allowed anyone to-to take him, but it's still difficult."  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"He's telling the truth. It was never intimate with any of the men. I know. I was one of them."  
  
Harry's jaw dropped. "What?"  
  
"Please don't be angry at Ron or at me. We met one of his first few nights here. He was beautiful and I went home with him. When we got back to his flat I tried to kiss him, and when we were-he wouldn't let me touch him. He refused to kiss, refused to let me run my fingers through his hair, nothing. When he came, it was your name he said. I realized when that happened that I was just a warm body. A body used to pretend I was someone else."  
  
"I-I don't know what to say"  
  
"Harry, don't let this ruin whatever progress you made with him last night"  
  
"I have to go, I'm supposed to meet him at eleven"  
  
"Harry-"  
  
"Bye Blake"  
  
Harry turned around and left. Blake was sorry that he had said anything and he hoped desperately that he had not ruined things for Ron. Ron needed Harry, and he knew that Harry needed Ron just as badly.  
  
Sighing he finished his coffee and headed to the bar.  
  
**Ron's Flat**  
  
Ron waited anxiously for Harry. He was late, it was 11:45. Ron knew that something was wrong. Harry wouldn't be late, not for this. A million scenarios ran through his head, what could have possibly made him this late? He decided to walk to Blake's. It wasn't far and he knew that Harry was staying with him. He was surprised when he walked out his door and found Harry sitting at the top of the stairs, staring out into space.  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"You slept with Blake"  
  
Ron felt his heart drop out of his chest. "Yes" he whispered.  
  
"Oh"  
  
"Harry I-"  
  
"Don't Ron. Don't say you're sorry. Don't say that it didn't mean anything. Because you may be sorry and it may not have meant anything to you, but it means everything to me."  
  
Ron did not like where this conversation was going.  
  
"I don't know what else to tell you, it's the truth. I am sorry, and it didn't mean anything"  
  
"You know what I loved about you the most Ron?"  
  
"Loved?"  
  
"Do you want to know or not?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"I loved that you were so innocent and pure. Even when we were making love you never lost your innocence and purity. You were always so beautiful. So mine. All mine. When we made love I knew without a doubt that only I would ever possess you that way. I would be the only person to know how soft your hair felt, how flawless your skin was. I would be the only person to ever know exactly what you looked like when you came. It was only me that would know what it felt like to hold you in my arms as we came down from the heights of the ecstasy we brought each other to. Now, I feel like that innocence and purity is gone because you gave it away to anyone who would take it" Harry's voice was sad.  
  
"Do you still love me Harry?"  
  
"I love the Ron that made love to me on my eighteenth birthday. The one that asked me to marry him."  
  
"I'm still him, he's still here inside of me"  
  
"Is he?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"I spoke to Mione last night. Your family knows."  
  
"I thought-"  
  
"You're mum came to visit and Mione told her I was away on business, unfortunately she found the paper on which Mione had written down Blake's phone number. She figured out I was in America, and she knew that the Ministry wouldn't send me so far away after only a week on the job. She came to the next logical conclusion, and you know how your mum can be. Mione was terrified and had no choice but to confess. They've decided that they will keep their distance until you let them know otherwise"  
  
"Do they hate me?"  
  
Harry sighed. "No Ron they don't hate you. They just want you to know that they love you and hope that you will come home"  
  
"Do you hate me Harry?" "No, but I don't know who you are anymore. Are you Blake's Scott Collins or are you my Ron Weasley?"  
  
"I told you last night. I've always been yours Harry."  
  
Harry looked up at Ron for the first time that morning. His eyes were bright from the tears he was holding back.  
  
"You said you'd take me sightseeing today"  
  
Ron smiled. "Well lets go then shall we?"  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
" I was thinking the pier, how does that sound?"  
  
"Sounds good. How do we get there?"  
  
"By Muni of course."  
  
"By what?"  
  
"Muni, it's like the underground, come lets go"  
  
**At the Pier**  
  
The pier was beautiful. It was a perfect San Francisco day. The sun was shining but the wind was gently blowing as well. The pier was packed with tourist but neither Harry nor Ron cared. They were with each other, just like it used to be, and for them that was more beautiful than any sight the pier could have provided.  
  
Harry was leaning against the railing taking in the sight of the ocean. The breeze was blowing his already unruly raven hair, and the sound of the waves lapping soothed him. Ron's breath caught in his throat as he saw the image before him. Harry. His Harry. He was so beautiful.  
  
Cautiously he walked up behind and slipped his arms around his waist. He felt Harry tense at first, then relax into the embrace leaning back against Ron. Ron's grip tightened around his love's waist. He would have given anything to stay in that moment. He placed a soft kiss on Harry's cheek. Harry in turn nuzzled his head into the crook of Ron's neck, inhaling Ron's familiar scent.  
  
"You still smell the same" Harry whispered softly  
  
Ron laughed. "And what exactly would that be love?"  
  
"Like the air on the Quidditch pitch and chocolate"  
  
Ron grinned. "And I take it that is a good thing"  
  
"Mmm" Harry placed his hands over Ron's and interlaced their fingers.  
  
"Scott?"  
  
Ron didn't respond until he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.  
  
"Oh, hey there Marcus" Ron loosened his grip on Harry and turned around to face Marcus. Harry turned around as well.  
  
"I'm in shock your out and about in the city Scott"  
  
Harry looked pointedly at Ron.  
  
"My name's not Scott, Marcus. It's Ron, Ron Weasley."  
  
A look of surprise crossed Marcus' face. "I don't understand"  
  
Harry couldn't help the thought that crossed his mind. Had Ron slept with this man as well?  
  
Ron saw the look of uncertainty cross Harry's face. He knew what Harry was thinking, and he wanted to eliminate any suspicions of Marcus being one of the men that had filled his bed in the past five years.  
  
"It's kind of a long story, where's your husband?"  
  
Ron heard Harry sigh in relief.  
  
"He's supposed to meet me here. You can explain now Sco-Ron. Hey aren't you the guy Blake brought to the bar the other night?"  
  
"Marcus do you remember what I told you about my boyfriend being murdered"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Well it seems it was just a big misunderstanding. He wasn't dead, it's a long story. Anyhow, here he is. Harry, this is Marcus, he's a bouncer at the bar"  
  
"Nice to meet you" Harry responded  
  
"Likewise. So who's Scott Collins"  
  
"A person I invented. An identity I created so that no one from home would be able to find me. I left home a month after Harry's 'death'"  
  
"Well Ron I say that this calls for a celebration. Let my husband and I take you and Harry to dinner at Bubba Gumps"  
  
Ron looked at Harry. Harry nodded.  
  
"Alright then"  
  
"Great lets go. My husband is meeting me at the restaurant"  
  
Marcus led the way as Harry and Ron followed. Harry gently grabbed Ron's hand and laced their fingers together again. Ron looked up at Harry and he was rewarded with a smile and a quick kiss on the lips.  
  
"I think you're right" Harry whispered. "My Ron still exists"  
  
Ron tightened his grip on Harry's hand and they caught up with Marcus and his husband. 


	5. Bring Me Back to Life, Chapter 5

Well, here's the latest installment. It's not quite over yet, and I have no idea how it will end! Thanks for all the feeback!  
  
**Bubba Gumps**  
  
Dinner with Marcus and his husband, Kevin was going great. The four of them laughed and drank. Ron took in the scene happily as Marcus, Kevin and Harry all exchanged funny and embarrassing "Ron Stories". It was nice for Marcus and Kevin to know a bit about Ron's life and it was an opportunity for Harry to see that the man he loved still did exist.  
  
Marcus and Kevin had listened to Ron and Harry's tale intently. They could not believe all that the young couple had been through. Kevin and Marcus were especially happy to see Ron so happy after seeing him miserable for five years. Ron glowed, and so did Harry. Their love was evident, a person would have to be blind to miss it, and even then the vibes they sent off were enough for someone to get the hint.  
  
"So, Harry, was it love at first sight when you met Ron?" Kevin asked.  
  
Harry smiled. "Well, I was only 11. We met on the train to boarding school and I knew from the moment that he walked into the compartment I wanted him in my life, so I suppose yes in a way it was love at first sight"  
  
Kevin sighed. "That is so romantic! What about you Ron? Love at first sight?"  
  
"Definitely. I was only 11 but like Harry I knew I wanted him in my life forever"  
  
"When did you realize it was love?" Kevin interrogated.  
  
"Kev, ease up" Marcus chided  
  
"No, it's alright" answered Harry. "This is one of my favorite memories. Would you like to tell it or should I?" Harry asked Ron.  
  
"Go ahead love"  
  
Harry smiled at Ron and held his hand, interlacing their fingers once again.  
  
"Well, our fifth year at boarding school I began to realize it was much more than friendship that I felt. I was a wreck and I didn't know what to do, I was so afraid he was going to reject me. I held off on telling him how I felt, I began to distance myself from him. It hurt to be in the same room as him knowing that I loved him so much and I couldn't show it. We left school at the end of the year and I was miserable. We had grown apart and I felt like there was this huge void in my life. I went back to live with my aunt, uncle and cousin who hated me. The summer was horrible, but then something happened. I was on the roof of the house helping my uncle put in new shingles and I slipped and fell. I don't remember much except tumbling to the ground and everything going black. When I woke up I was in Ron's room. His family had taken me away from my miserable relatives. I was relieved and happy to see Ron. We began to mend our friendship and it was wonderful. We avoided the subject of what it was we were feeling, but it was there. Then on my 16th birthday at midnight Ron woke me up. We went for a walk in the garden. It was decorated beautifully with lights and flowers and balloons. In the center of the garden was a table with a birthday cake. Ron told me to make a wish and blow out my candles, so I did. He asked me what I wished for, and I told him I didn't wish for anything because my greatest desire was standing in front of me. Then he kissed me, and the rest is history"  
  
"Wow. You two are a perfect case of true love! You realize that right?" Kevin inquired.  
  
"I'd like to think so" Ron replied and tightened his grip on Harry's hand.  
  
Harry smiled.  
  
"Well I am stuffed, why don't we blow this joint and hit the bar?" Marcus suggested.  
  
Ron felt Harry stiffen at the mention of going to the bar. His heart constricted again and he wondered if Harry was ever going to be able to handle what had happened in the past five years.  
  
"Nah, I think we'll pass, we have some catching up to do" Ron replied  
  
"Aw, come on! It'll be fun!" Kevin pressed.  
  
Ron glanced at Harry. He looked like he had just swallowed a bottle of Skele-Gro.  
  
"No it's fine Ron, let's go to the bar"  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes, I can't avoid it forever can I?"  
  
"Well it's settled, lets go!"  
  
The four men left the restaurant. They looked like a happy group of friends ready for a night on the town, but Ron noticed the change in Harry's demeanor. His smile and laughter were forced, and he would not let Ron hold his hand. Ron prayed that Harry would be okay, but he had very serious doubts.  
  
**The Bar**  
  
Harry felt as if every man in the bar was looking at him. He could feel their gazes upon him, wondering if he was Ron's conquest for the night. It angered him. The rage boiled up inside of him every time he thought about what Ron had done with many of them present. Kevin and Marcus were out on the dance floor having a good time. Harry and Ron sat at a table both looking miserable.  
  
Ron knew what Harry was thinking. He could see it in the green eyes he worshipped, but he didn't know what to say or do anymore to make it any better, and he didn't know if Harry was ever going to deal with it, but it didn't look promising. He had tried to strike up a conversation with him, tried to hold his hand, even tried to get him to dance, but Harry had refused and instead they sat at the table.  
  
"I'll be right back, I have to use the restroom"  
  
Ron nodded and watched Harry walk away from the table.  
  
Harry quickly locked himself in one of the stalls of the restroom and buried his head in his hands. He was so angry, so confused, hurt and jealous. He knew that the man he loved still very much existed but the life he had lived in the past five years hung like a dark shadow over their reconciliation. He knew he was stupid for agreeing to come here, he didn't know why he'd agreed but he had and now he was stuck here. Harry heard the door to the bathroom open and two men walked in.  
  
"Did you see Scott? I wonder who the hot guy is?"  
  
Harry felt nauseous. He knew the men were talking about Ron.  
  
"I'm sure it's just another one of his fucks, honestly who can say they haven't been there and done that?"  
  
The men laughed and Harry felt his heart break.  
  
"Well he was a lousy fuck. He would even let me touch him. He threw me down on the bed, fucked me, and then rolled off me and went to sleep"  
  
"Oh, well let me tell you. I did get to touch, not a lot but I managed to sneak in a few and let me tell you, he has skin like porcelain and hair like silk-"  
  
The man did not get a chance to finish his sentence. Harry went flying from the stall, his anger and rage guiding him and slammed the man into the wall. Before he knew it he had drawn back his fist and the only sound in the bathroom was the sound of Harry's fist connecting with the man's face. It was a sick cracking sound. The man just stared at Harry dumbfounded.  
  
"Harry! What the fuck are you doing?!?!" It was Ron. He had gone into the bathroom to look for Harry and found him beating up someone.  
  
Harry looked at Ron. His eyes were like chips of green ice. There was no love in them, only anger, rage, and for an instant hate. Ron had only ever seen hate in Harry's eyes when Voldemort was involved.  
  
Harry let the man drop to the ground.  
  
"I thought you said they never touched you Ron. This asshole claims he knows how silky you hair is and how your skin is like pocelain"  
  
"Harry-"  
  
"NO! I'm leaving now"  
  
Harry stormed out of the club, he didn't realized that Ron was following him until he slowed a few blocks later to figure out where he was.  
  
"Harry! STOP!"  
  
Harry spun around. He couldn't control his anger right now, and he didn't want to face Ron at this moment knowing that.  
  
"LEAVE ME ALONE RON!"  
  
"NO! Dammit Harry! You can't do this! You can't blow up and shut down every time you learn something about the past five years you just can't! It's not fair to me!"  
  
"NOT FAIR TO YOU!?!?! FUCK YOU RON! FUCK YOU! I searched for you for five fucking years! FIVE YEARS! Do you know how many times I wished for death in those five years? DO YOU!?!? And you know what? I WISH THAT I HAD DIED SO THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME!"  
  
Ron's heart shattered, but he was angry as well.  
  
"GO TO HELL! You let me think you were dead Harry! DEAD! YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME! YOU COULD HAVE LET AT LEAST ME KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON! INSTEAD YOU HAD TO BE THE FUCKING HERO JUST ONE MORE TIME! BUT THIS TIME IT BLEW UP IN YOUR FUCKING FACE!"  
  
"Right! Silly me for trying to protect the person that I loved more than my own life! I thought you of all people would know that I wasn't trying to be the damned hero again, I was trying to do what was right!"  
  
Ron knew he needed to try and change tactics before something was said that both of them would regret.  
  
"Look, Harry, please, lets go somewhere and discuss this like normal adults. Please, I love you-"  
  
"I HATE YOU! I COULD NEVER LOVE A COMMON WHORE!"  
  
Harry regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. "Shit! What have I done?!" he thought.  
  
"Ron I-"  
  
"No. No more Harry" Ron's voice was dead. It lacked any emotion. Harry had just killed his heart, killed him. "I am not the only person to blame in this mess. Go home. I don't want you here anymore. Please tell my family that I love them and miss them, but that I will not be going back to England, not ever"  
  
"Ron, please-"  
  
"GO HOME! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE! I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"  
  
"FINE!"  
  
Ron watched Harry stalk away in anger. He waited until he was out of sight to collapse.  
  
"Shhh, Ron, it's okay"  
  
"Blake?"  
  
"I saw you both leave the club, looking angry. I wanted to make sure you were okay, but I see now-"  
  
"I'll never be okay again. He hates me. I love him, and he hates me. He is never going to forgive me for my sins, and it pisses me off because I have already forgiven him for his. Just please take me home Blake."  
  
"Okay"  
  
Blake's heart went out to Ron. He knew that the red haired man was never going to recover from the latest blow. He had heard the harsh words coming from both men. It was sad but it seemed that Harry was never going to forgive Ron for what he had done. Ron was condemned to live a miserable life because Harry was too much of a stubborn ass to forgive the man he loved.  
  
The men reached Ron's apartment. Ron thanked Blake and went inside. He could not believe what had happened. Harry hated him. His life meant nothing now. He had died when he had heard the news of Harry's "death". He had died again when Harry had yelled that he hated him. He had died metaphorically many times in his life. It was time to die physically.  
  
Ron found a few sheets of paper and wrote what he needed to say to the people he cared about. He then went to the bathroom and found the shiny silver razor that seemed to glint and smile at him. He brought the razor to his wrist watching as his blood fell in shiny red rivulets onto the floor. It was a rather entrancing sight. It was the last thing Ron saw before the darkness overtook him.  
  
**30 minutes later**  
  
Harry found himself in front of Ron's apartment building. He had to make things right. He had not truly meant the harsh words that he had said. He had been angry, but that was it. Harry had to go to Ron and make him understand that he could never hate him. He loved him too much. He didn't know why but he had an odd feeling and he needed to see Ron immediately to tell him. It seemed imperative that Ron know this.  
  
"Harry?'  
  
"Blake. What are you doing here?"  
  
"Checking on Ron. He's a disaster, I only left him about 30 minutes ago. I found him after your fight. I-I had a weird feeling-"  
  
"Me too, let's go" Harry's heart was racing. Something was off and he knew, felt it. Just like Blake.  
  
They arrived at Ron's door and Harry found that it was unlocked. His brain was screaming something was wrong.  
  
"Ron?" Harry called out, panic lacing his voice. "Ron are you here?"  
  
The men were met with a deathly silence. Blake made his way towards the kitchen while Harry made his way towards Ron's bedroom.  
  
Blake would never forget the sound he heard next. It would haunt him forever. It was a scream, a scream that was pure unadulterated pain. The person's soul was being ripped from their body. When Blake found Harry he knew why.  
  
Harry was cradling Ron in his arms. Ron, who was much paler than usual. Ron, who was lying in a puddle of blood. The gashes on his wrist standing out on his flawless skin.  
  
"Shit!"  
  
"Oh God! Blake we have to help him!" Harry was sobbing now.  
  
As Blake dialed 911 he could hear Harry begging Ron not to leave him. His pleas were heartwrenching. Blake begged the fates and whatever God or Gods controlled Harry and Ron's future for this to end well. "Leave them alone, let them be happy, THEY'VE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH!" Blake thought angrily.  
  
Harry was sobbing, cradling Ron's limp body in his hands. This was all his fault and he knew it. He should have never stepped foot in that club. No! He never should have doubted Ron's love for him. He should have just dealt with it instead of being so damn stubborn. Instead of being angry at the club he should have taken Ron out onto the dance floor and shown every one of those men exactly who Ron belonged to. Shown them exactly what it was he and Ron shared.  
  
"Oh, Ron if you can hear please don't leave me love. We have too much left unsaid. I love you, please come back to me"  
  
Harry didn't know how long he sat on the floor of the bathroom but he remembered the paramedics showing up. He remembered being loading into the ambulance with Ron and Blake.  
  
He could recall the sterile whiteness of the hospital and how Ron's of red hair stood out against the stark environment. He could recall Blake trying to comfort him, calling Hermione, calling the Weasley family, but the memory that would never leave him, the moment he would recall forever was when the doctor came out to tell them Ron was going to die. 


	6. Bring Me Back To Life, Chapter 6

Thanks everyone for the wonderful feedback!! I am so sorry that this chapter has taken so long to get out, but real life reared its ugly head and I had to focus on finals and schoolwork! Let me know what you guys think! I still have more in store!! Quoth the Raven-you rock!!  
  
**The Hospital**  
  
Harry was in a haze. He had completely lost it when the doctor had told him about Ron. He had lost so much blood that the odds of him surviving were slim. Ron's blood type was rare and he needed a transfusion immediately. The doctor informed Harry that they were frantically searching, but there options were running out and Ron was running out of time.  
  
"Harry, here drink this" Blake said, holding out a cup of coffee to him.  
  
"No thanks. I need to see him! Why won't they let me go back there?"  
  
"Harry-"  
  
"No! Blake, I have to be with him right now! I need him to know that I didn't mean any of those horrible things I said! I was so wrong, so horribly wrong. I have single handedly destroyed the one person that I love more than life itself. If he dies-God, I can't even think about it"  
  
"When will Hermione and his family be here?"  
  
"Tomorrow afternoon. I just hope it's not too late-" Harry's voice cracked and sobs soon shook his body again.  
  
"Shh, Harry. He'll make it."  
  
"I hope you're right"  
  
"Mr. Potter?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'm Dr. Murdock, I'm Mr. Weasley's attending physician"  
  
"What happened to Dr. Sales?"  
  
"He was called away, I have taken over his treatment now"  
  
"When can I see him?"  
  
"I'll take you back there now if you like"  
  
Harry breathed a sigh of relief. "Is he doing any better?'  
  
"I'll explain everything when we are with Mr. Weasley"  
  
"Alright" Harry followed Dr. Murdock back to Ron's room.  
  
There were machines and tubes all around Ron. He was still deathly pale, and his brilliant red hair was dull.  
  
Harry almost lost it again seeing the man he loved. He looked like a corpse. As if all the life had drained from his body. "I did this to him, not once, but twice" Harry thought to himself.  
  
Dr. Murdock turned to Harry and spoke.  
  
"Mr. Potter, I have a confession to make. I am not a member of the staff here. I am a member of the staff at St. Mungos. Mr. Weasley's father arranged for me to obtain an emergency apparation pass so that I could come here and treat him. I have used an assortment of healing charms, and if I am correct Mr. Weasley is going to come of out this"  
  
Harry stared in shock at the doctor. He could have kissed him he was so happy. Ron was going to make it. He wasn't going to die.  
  
"I-I don't know what to say. Thank Dr. Murdock"  
  
Dr. Murdock nodded his head. "I was more than happy to oblige Mr. Potter. The Weasley family has suffered far too much, so has Ron, and so have you. The heroes of our world deserve a happy ending"  
  
"I'm not a hero Dr. Murdock. I am a horrible man."  
  
Dr. Murdock looked at Harry. His eyes were full of sympathy and sadness. Dr. Murdock knew that Harry was feeling guilty and that if he didn't snap out of it his guilt was going to eat away at him and inflict even more pain on the people he was more than happy to help.  
  
"Do not underestimate yourself Mr. Potter. I'll leave you alone with Ron now. His family will be here tomorrow"  
  
Harry nodded and turned his attention to Ron. He took a seat in the chair next to his bed and began to speak when he heard the soft click of the door closing.  
  
"Ron, I know you can hear me. Please come back to me love. I am so horribly sorry. I didn't mean a word of what I said. I was angry and I know it's not an excuse, but please you have to come back. Even if you never speak to me again you have to come back, I would rather live in this world without you knowing that you are alive then live in a world where you are dead"  
  
Harry's voice began to crack as a fresh wave of tears streamed down his face. "God, Ron you have to come back to me. I swear to you I will do whatever it take to make amends"  
  
Harry gently took Ron's hand in his and began a silent vigil where the only sound heard was the machine monitoring Ron's heartbeat.  
  
**Ron's POV**  
  
Ron was surrounded by infinite warmth. The sun was shining and he was seated on a rock near the lake at Hogwarts. A feeling of peace settled around him and he sighed. "How on earth did I get here?" He thought to himself.  
  
"Ron?"  
  
Ron turned around and saw a site that shocked him.  
  
"Percy?!? You're dead!"  
  
Ron then remembered what had happened. The feeling of peace left him and the sun that had bathed him in its warmth disappeared replaced by a dark and stormy sky. The wind blew viciously tousling Ron's hair. Ron suddenly found his voice again.  
  
"Am I dead too Perce?"  
  
His brother smiled at him and took a seat next to him on the rock. It had begun to rain and thunder around them but his brother seemed unaffected.  
  
"No Ron you are not dead. It's not your time yet" Percy smiled at him. Ron could not understand how his brother retained such a sense of peace in the midst of the tumultuous weather.  
  
"Bloody hell Percy! What is going on? How can you sit here in the midst of this storm and seem so fucking calm!??!"  
  
"This is not my storm Ron, it's yours"  
  
Ron looked at his brother baffled. He was speaking in the way Harry had said the centaurs spoke. Suddenly Ron's train of thoughts screeched to a halt.  
  
"Harry-" he whispered softly.  
  
Percy smiled at him. He leaned over and kissed his brother his forehead. "Find your peace Ron"  
  
Percy got up and started to walk away. Ron panicked.  
  
"Percy! Wait!" His brother slowly turned around. The storm was more fierce but his brother was still perfectly calm.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"How do I know where my peace lies?"  
  
"You've always known Ron. You've known it since you were a child. Think Ron, remember the first time in your life you felt completely at peace. Oh, and please don't try to join us again anytime soon, we'll all be together someday. Tell Hermione I love her and that I am glad she is making a life for herself"  
  
Percy soon disappeared from Ron's sight. Ron was overcome with a feeling of absolute panic. He was desperately alone. There was no one there to help him. He was all by himself. He hadn't felt like this since he had ridden the Hogwarts express for the first time. His heart was beating quickly and he felt as though everyone had abandoned him. God, he had hated feeling that way. He had been so overcome with panic and grief then that he didn't think he could make the walk to the compartment at the back of the train. But he had made the walk and in that compartment he had found Harry, his Harry. He remembered the sense of relief that had washed over him at finding Harry. He had grown up in a house where he was never granted a moment's peace. He had gone from that house to the train, and in the compartment of that train he had found Harry, and a sense of peace had washed over him.  
  
Ron was pulled from his thoughts as he noticed the sun was shining once again. The storm had ceased, and the environment was as calm as it had been earlier. Realization dawned on Ron. Peace, Harry was his peace.  
  
"PERCY YOU STUPID GIT WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME!?!" Ron shouted.  
  
Soon the scenery started to fade and Ron plunged into blackness once more.  
  
**Back At The Hospital**  
  
"Harry?"  
  
Harry was startled. He had fallen asleep at Ron's bedside. He turned and saw his best friend standing beside him.  
  
"Mione, oh God Mione-" Harry's voice cracked and he began to cry. He felt his friend's arms encircle him. She whispered soothing and comforting words but they did nothing to ease the ache in Harry's chest.  
  
"Shhh, Harry. Ron's going to be fine"  
  
"This is all my fault Hermione. He's lying in that bed because of me!"  
  
"Harry, what happened?" Hermione pulled a chair over and sat beside her two best friends. This was not how she had pictured their reunion at all. First, there was the whole issue of Ron being unconscious and secondly it was supposed to be a happy occasion.  
  
Harry took a deep breath and recounted everything that had transpired since he had arrived in San Francisco. Hermione listened intently. A heavy ache settled into her heart. She could not believe all of the suffering that her best friends had been through. The angry words, the jealousy, these were never things that she had never imagined would come into play with Ron and Harry's relationship. They were a perfect fit. True love. They were soul mates, and every other syrupy cliché that bad muggle romance novels had coined over the years.  
  
Hermione knew that Harry was ashamed. He felt guilty and responsible for what Ron had done.  
  
"Harry you have to concentrate on fixing things. There is no more room for guilt and blame. Look where it has brought you so far"  
  
"How can I not blame myself? I will never forgive myself for this Hermione"  
  
"Dammit Harry! Listen to me! The three of us deserve some fucking happiness. The Weasleys deserve some happiness. No more darkness Harry! No more fucking darkness!"  
  
Harry was taken aback. Hermione never swore.  
  
"Mione-"  
  
"I mean it Harry! NO MORE! Ron is going to wake up and you are going to straighten things out. You have to! You've both been miserable for five years! Stop trying to be a hero and atone for everything! You're only human Harry, just accept it!"  
  
"He tried to kill himself because I told him I hated him! I told him I could never love a common whore!"  
  
"Yes, you did say those things. You regret them. Explain it to him. Then, be happy!"  
  
"What if he wakes up and hates me?!?!? I'm sure the Weasleys hate me! I have no idea how I am going to face them!"  
  
"Ron could never hate you! He loves you Harry! You're like a son to the Weasleys! They could never hate you either!"  
  
Unbeknownst to the arguing best friends a pair of blue eyes had fluttered open and was listening intently to their argument. Ron's heart broke when he heard Harry speak. He loved Harry. He didn't want to be without him. He could never hate him, not ever. He had to make sure Harry knew. He opened his mouth to speak, but his eloquent speech would have to wait. His throat was dry and it was hard to speak. Foregoing all notions of speeches Ron instead managed to croak out "No".  
  
Harry and Hermione turned around. Both wore matching expressions of surprise.  
  
"RON! You're awake!" Hermione quickly flung herself on to her best friend. Her death grip was quickly crushing Ron's ribs and he couldn't breathe, but it felt good and he hugged her back with as much ferocity.  
  
Hermione pulled back and looked at her best friend. He was smiling at her. She had missed that smile.  
  
Ron noticed Harry standing off to the side. He was happy that his best friends had been reunited after five years.  
  
Ron opened his mouth to say something but instead he began to cough. Harry handed him a glass of water. He helped him sit up and gently tipped the glass so that Ron could drink.  
  
It was a relief as Ron felt the water saturate his vocal chords. He had to talk to Harry.  
  
"Mione, I couldn't be happier to see you but-"  
  
"It's okay. I'll leave you two alone. I'll let everyone know you're awake"  
  
"Who's here anyway?" Ron asked  
  
"Your family, myself, Blake and two men by the name of Marcus and Kevin"  
  
Ron smiled. "Let them know we'll only be a moment"  
  
Hermione nodded and began to walk out of the room when Ron called her back.  
  
"Mione"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Percy says that he loves you and he is glad that you are making a new life for yourself"  
  
Hermione smiled. A happy smile. She knew that Percy would have been happy with her choices.  
  
"Thank you"  
  
Ron turned and looked at Harry.  
  
"This is it" Harry thought "He's going to kick me out of his life forever"  
  
"Ron I-"  
  
Ron brought a finger to Harry's lips. "Shh, it's my turn to talk"  
  
Harry nodded and scooted behind Ron so that Ron was lying with his back on Harry's chest. Ron took Harry's arms and wrapped them around him, interlacing their fingers.  
  
Harry could not believe how tender Ron was being, not after everything.  
  
"Do you remember the first time we met?"  
  
"Of course, how could I forget it?" Harry smiled at the memory.  
  
"I remember getting on the train that day and being so scared and so panic stricken. My brothers went with their friends and I was left all alone. I was so paralyzed by my fear that I didn't think I was going to be able to walk back to the last compartment of the train, but I did and there you were. My whole life had been so chaotic up to that point. My house was always in chaos, and my life had been turned upside down when I crossed the barrier at Platfrom 9 ¾ but I stepped into your compartment and not only was I relieved, but for the first time in my life the turmoil stopped. Peace washed over me and I was happier than I had ever been. When I thought you died that same fear, panic and turmoil took over again and I did everything I possibly could to get that peace back in my life but I never could. You are my peace Harry. You are my heart and my soul. You are everything that is good and pure in my life"  
  
"Ron, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it." Harry could feel the tears starting to run down his face again.  
  
Ron tightened his grip on Harry's hands. "I know you didn't. I think we've both done a lot of things we didn't mean, but that's over now Harry. Starting now we are going to start the week over the right way-if you want to that is"  
  
Harry tightened his arms around Ron and gently kissed the top of his head. "I'd love to"  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"I'm ready to see my family now"  
  
Harry nodded and left to bring the Weasleys back to Ron's room. 


End file.
